


It Was Forever

by orphan_account



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Domestic Fluff, F/M, I'm Sorry, Nightmares, Post-Episode AU: s02e13 Doomsday, Rose didn't leave, Stubborn Rose, TenRose - Freeform, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-25
Updated: 2014-08-11
Packaged: 2018-02-06 03:23:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1842535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Rose somehow makes it through- what they call, Doomsday. The Doctor begins to have strange, realistic, nightmares and tries to push Rose away before tragedy strikes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This is my second you could call "Alternate Ending" fic. Basically Rose is still around after Doomsday and the Doctor finally let his walls down and they're in the relationship.

_“Rose!" He yelled, as she fell to the ground._

_He caught her just before she hit it, her eyes were glistening with tears. A small hole lead right through her stomach, he watched as blood began to poor out of it._

_"No, no no no. It'll be alright Rose." He cried, tears beginning to stream down his face._

_Rose's eyes still shined for him, freckles of gold in the chocolate brown; her smile still as sweet as ever._

_"It's not your fault. Just remember that, love."_

_He placed a kiss on her forehead, then cheek, and then softly on her lips, "I could help you."_

_"No, we had our forever, even if I'm not ready to go." She whispered, breathlessly._

_She reached out for his cheek, and rubbed the bone with his thumb. Before taking a slow breath and letting her hand fall back to her side._

_"Oh Rose, I can't lose you now. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry." He sobbed._

_Rose just smiled sadly at him, her face began to whiten but her eyes still stayed bright. Oh, he was tempted to use a regeneration to save her, all of them if he had too. But she had asked him not to so, the Doctor held Rose closer to him, her body began to cool. He sobbed into her shoulder, cradling her. He looked up as he heard footsteps, a tall man sprinted away. As much as his mind told him not too; the Doctor would get revenge on Rose's death, even if it did take forever._

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Rose." The Doctor rasped, sitting up in bed.

His clothes stuck to him and he breathed heavily. The warm body next to him gently placed a hand on his back.

 "What's wrong?" Her smooth, sweet voice calmed him down instantly.

"Just another nightmare." He said blandly.

"This is the second time tonight." The Doctor looked over at her.

Her blond hair tangled wildly from sleep, making it seem like she has a golden halo. Her eyes full of worry and sleep, making them seem as soft as ever. It was his Rose.

"It's just a nightmare."

Rose sat up, "It's bothering you."

 The Doctor pulled Rose too him and tucked his head into her neck. Tears streamed down his face. She soothed him, rubbing his back, shushing him as he sobbed. He breathed in her sent, her sweetness filled his senses. A hint of her honey perfume from earlier tonight, but it was mostly just Rose. Something he couldn't describe, it was just, Rose.

 "Are you going to tell me?" The Doctor took a shaky breath, "It's the same dream. I keep losing you, and it scared me to death."

Rose nodded, "You're not gonna get rid of me that easily."

"Like Torchwood. I almost lost you there."

Rose kissed his cheek, "But I'm still here, aren't I?"

He nodded before lying back down. Rose watched his body started to tense as he tried to keep away sleep. She laid next to him, wrapping her arm around his chest and tangled her legs in his. He leaned into her warmth, letting himself go.

"I'm surprised you haven't left me." He whispered.

 Rose set her head on his shoulder, her hair tickling his face, "What'd you mean?"

 "I'm one of the loneliest people in the universe. I'm a mad man. But you're still here."

"Because I wouldn't be me if I hadn't met you." The Doctor took Rose's hand, "So many other people out there. You chose me."

"Because I love you." She whispered.

 "Rose, I- I...."

Rose pulled herself closer to him, "I know."

"Please don't leave me tonight."

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: The Doctor does kinda hurt Rose in this, but it was on accident.

Rose trailed behind the Doctor as he stormed off. Almost a hundred people had just died, of corse he is taking the blame. Always feeling it is his fault when something fails.

"Doctor!" Rose shouted over the bustling city noise.

The Doctor just shook his head and kept walking. People on the street began to run inside buildings, realizing what had happen only two streets away.

"Doctor, please." Rose's voice came out as a whisper. It was still enough to get the Doctor to turn around and see the pain he put in Rose's eyes. His anger immediately melted into guilt and frustration.

The people who still stood on the street parted as he seemed to glide over the ground. His calmness made everything seem dark. His eyes were dark, just like they had said. He's like fire, he's like ice. It was all jumbled up inside him, making him seem calm for what had happened. But also terrifyingly angry.

Rose shuddered and took a few steps back. He didn't stop until he was in front of her, and had his hand around her wrist.

"What?" His voice was smooth, but shaky.

"L-let go of me."

"What do you want?!"

Whatever what was left of Rose's courage, left. She trembled in his grip. Slowly, his face turned away.

"Why do you want me around?"

Rose's eyes were pleading, "Just let me go."

"Why should I? You could've helped them. Instead you go off to help  _one_  person, now they're life is the reason hundreds are dead!" He raged.

"Let. Go."

But he didn't, he kept going on, "I killed my entire race, do you want to do that to your own? Because it's not that hard, a simple change in the atmosphere, a bomb, a war. A WAR!"

Rose cowered back as far as she could, no one was left to help her.The street echoed his yells; all she could do was try to pull her arm away.

"Doctor, you're hurting me." She pleaded.

His eyes widened before he let go of her. He looked away, then ran. He didn't mean it; he wouldn't try to hurt his Rose. Yet he did. So he ran. Ran from his problems like always. Always running, from the things he loved the most. He couldn't stop. He knew if he stayed around to long he would hurt them. Just like he did to Rose. He hurt her, and it was is fault.

Panic filled his mind and he took a sharp turn into a ally. Something in his mind kept chanting,

_Run, run, run, you'll get away. Just run and flee. You'll keep all pain away._

What he was doing didn't even count as running, it was dodging and hurtling himself over the ground. He didn't stop until he tripped over a small, metal, box. He tumbled face first into the street; his face scraped the pavement and trousers tore as they dragged along it.

He tried getting up, but only failed and leaned against the wall. Taking gasping breaths and rocking back and forth. His eyes wide in panic.

"Doctor?" A soft voice called.

He still rocked.

Light footsteps sounded near him, "Doctor?"

His eyes didn't leave the ground.

A shadow kneeled next to him, he felt the soft touch of a hand on his back.

"Shhhh," The voice chided.

He stopped rocking taking in the noises.

"It'll be okay."

"I'm a monster, Rose." His voice was hoarse.

"No. You didn't know."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "Yes, I did."

"You saved the universe."

"I'm alone."

Rose sat next to him, "No. You're not."

"I killed my family!" He cried, "My daughter, wife, my whole race! For what?! A better universe. Now I'm nothing. I'm not suppose to be here, I should be dead."

"You've saved so many lives. Just calm down. You saved me, a whole entire planet. The whole universe. Just think Doctor, I would be dead if you weren't for you."

He closed his eyes, "You could be dead because of me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter name doesn't really go along with the chapter, I know.


	3. Chapter Three

Rose leaned her head on the bar as the Doctor bounced around, making his traditional banana pancakes. He only made them when they stayed in the TARDIS for a day. He babbled on about some alien that took over the moon. Rose yawned loudly interrupting his lecture.

"Rose?"

"Mmmm?"

He turned around with the pan in hand, "When was the last time you got a full nights sleep?"

She shrugged, "Probably since you've started having nightmares."

"That was three weeks ago."

Rose just nodded.

"You shouldn't do this for me."

She shook her head, "I will."

"Why?"

"Because, I care about you."

The Doctor sat the pan on the counter, then walked and kneeled next to Rose, "When was your last real meal?"

"I donno, a week ago."

The Doctor looked into her eyes; evidence of no sleep was there. Bags and dark spots lied under them. Not only her face, but everything about her came back to not caring for herself. The muscles she had created from running were being eaten away, her body sagged, and her voice was always a sleepy soft. How come he never noticed this?

"C'mon." He said, lifting her up bridal style.

She blinked rapidly and then gave him a smile. Not a wide grin or the one where her tongue slips between her teeth; Just a small, simple, thank you smile. The Doctor grinned back, he asked the TARDIS to open their bedroom door just as they got there. The room was a true mess; clothes littered the ground, bed sheets unmade, counter to their dressers were covered in parts or make-up. It was so.... Domestic. He felt Rose nuzzle into his neck, her breath soft. He lowered her onto the bed and then threw the comforter over her,

"You are to stay here and rest while I make you breakfast in bed."

She just nodded and allowed her eyes slip shut for the rest that was much needed. He watched her for a moment before stepping outside the door. He got midway to the galley before his thoughts caught up to him.

You're the reason she's like this. They hissed you should've made her go back.

He just tried to shake it off.

You should've never let her in.

That's when his back hit the wall and his hands rubbed his face and pulled his hair. He slowly slid Down as it all hit him. It was his fault she's like this. He shouldn't have crossed the line he made so long ago; but Rose had no one now, no one except him. Except all of her problems and why they were happening lead back to him. He just continued to pull at his hair, until he realized. If he hadn't said those words that day, she wouldn't be here. Wouldn't be in his bed, most likely in his shirt, tuck under all of those blue covers; if he had not confessed that he loved her. That one time he said it, it changed everything. He could be a lonely man without that bright pink and yellow girl. He would be nothing. He took a deep breath before standing back up. His scalp ached, but he continued on. She chose him over her whole family. Over a father and a mother, and a brother; to have her childhood friend back. She chose him over all of that. Maybe it wasn't all him, maybe it was just how the universe worked.

 

Thirty minutes later, he had a tray; stacked with toast and pancakes and a small glass of orange juice. When he stepped back into the room, Rose was fast asleep. He set the tray on the nightstand and sat down on the bed.

"Rose," He asked, shaking her arm slightly, "Rosie?"

She didn't budge. So, the Doctor had another idea of waking her up. He leaned forward and slowly kissed his way up her neck, then tried tickling her nose with his hair as he kissed her cheek. She woke up when he brushed their noses together while giving her a kiss on the lip. He caught her bottom lip between his teeth as she smiled. He rose above her as she stretched, with a small smile on her face.

"Hi." She said lightly.

He smiled and responded, his voice deeper than usual, "Hello."

That's when she pulled him back down to her, their lips crashing back together. His hands finding her waist, and her fingers combing through his hair. His tongue swept over her bottom lip, she quickly allowed him in. Their tongues dueled and soon, she was arching up into him; trying to find every way possible for them to touch. He pulled her lip back between his teeth; biting down gently before raising above her again. She whimpered slightly at the loss of his warmth and touch.

"You need to eat." He whispered.

She shook her head, "I'm not hungry."

"Just like you ar-"

She shot him a look, "You better stop there."

He just gave her a grin and patted her side so she would scoot over. He brought the tray over both of them and smile.

"Banana pancakes, toast, and orange juice; for the dame Rose."

"What about sir Doctor?"

He turned over and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead, "I think you're all I need."

She smiled at him, then dug into the food. It was apparent that she hadn't really ate. The Doctor did catch her eating a apple or a couple crackers every once in a while; she never ate real food. Once she finished most of the tray, the Doctor moved it to one of the cluttered dressers and crawled back into the bed. Rose smiled at him as he opened his arms. She sighed as he wrapped them around her wast and curled into her; his thumbs just above her hips, rubbing gently in circles. 

He tucked his head next to hers, his hair tickling her cheek as her kissed her neck. It wasn't desire, it was just simple, sweet, kisses. He kept the trail up till her ear until his mouth was just hovering over them. Then, she heard words she never though she'd hear again.

"I love you."


	4. Chapter Four

Rose leaned her head on the bar as the Doctor bounced around, making his traditional banana pancakes. He only made them when they stayed in the TARDIS for a day. He babbled on about some alien that took over the moon. Rose yawned loudly interrupting his lecture.

"Rose?"

"Mmmm?"

He turned around with the pan in hand, "When was the last time you got a full nights sleep?"

She shrugged, "Probably since you've started having nightmares."

"That was three weeks ago."

Rose just nodded.

"You shouldn't do this for me."

She shook her head, "I will."

"Why?"

"Because, I care about you."

The Doctor sat the pan on the counter, then walked and kneeled next to Rose, "When was your last real meal?"

"I donno, a week ago."

The Doctor looked into her eyes; evidence of no sleep was there. Bags and dark spots lied under them. Not only her face, but everything about her came back to not caring for herself. The muscles she had created from running were being eaten away, her body sagged, and her voice was always a sleepy soft. How come he never noticed this?

"C'mon." He said, lifting her up bridal style.

She blinked rapidly and then gave him a smile. Not a wide grin or the one where her tongue slips between her teeth; Just a small, simple, thank you smile. The Doctor grinned back, he asked the TARDIS to open their bedroom door just as they got there. The room was a true mess; clothes littered the ground, bed sheets unmade, counter to their dressers were covered in parts or make-up. It was so.... Domestic. He felt Rose nuzzle into his neck, her breath soft. He lowered her onto the bed and then threw the comforter over her,

"You are to stay here and rest while I make you breakfast in bed."

She just nodded and allowed her eyes slip shut for the rest that was much needed. He watched her for a moment before stepping outside the door. He got midway to the galley before his thoughts caught up to him.

You're the reason she's like this. They hissed you should've made her go back.

He just tried to shake it off.

You should've never let her in.

That's when his back hit the wall and his hands rubbed his face and pulled his hair. He slowly slid Down as it all hit him. It was his fault she's like this. He shouldn't have crossed the line he made so long ago; but Rose had no one now, no one except him. Except all of her problems and why they were happening lead back to him. He just continued to pull at his hair, until he realized. If he hadn't said those words that day, she wouldn't be here. Wouldn't be in his bed, most likely in his shirt, tuck under all of those blue covers; if he had not confessed that he loved her. That one time he said it, it changed everything. He could be a lonely man without that bright pink and yellow girl. He would be nothing. He took a deep breath before standing back up. His scalp ached, but he continued on. She chose him over her whole family. Over a father and a mother, and a brother; to have her childhood friend back. She chose him over all of that. Maybe it wasn't all him, maybe it was just how the universe worked.

 

Thirty minutes later, he had a tray; stacked with toast and pancakes and a small glass of orange juice. When he stepped back into the room, Rose was fast asleep. He set the tray on the nightstand and sat down on the bed.

"Rose," He asked, shaking her arm slightly, "Rosie?"

She didn't budge. So, the Doctor had another idea of waking her up. He leaned forward and slowly kissed his way up her neck, then tried tickling her nose with his hair as he kissed her cheek. She woke up when he brushed their noses together while giving her a kiss on the lip. He caught her bottom lip between his teeth as she smiled. He rose above her as she stretched, with a small smile on her face.

"Hi." She said lightly.

He smiled and responded, his voice deeper than usual, "Hello."

That's when she pulled him back down to her, their lips crashing back together. His hands finding her waist, and her fingers combing through his hair. His tongue swept over her bottom lip, she quickly allowed him in. Their tongues dueled and soon, she was arching up into him; trying to find every way possible for them to touch. He pulled her lip back between his teeth; biting down gently before raising above her again. She whimpered slightly at the loss of his warmth and touch.

"You need to eat." He whispered.

She shook her head, "I'm not hungry."

"Just like you ar-"

She shot him a look, "You better stop there."

He just gave her a grin and patted her side so she would scoot over. He brought the tray over both of them and smile.

"Banana pancakes, toast, and orange juice; for the dame Rose."

"What about sir Doctor?"

He turned over and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead, "I think you're all I need."

She smiled at him, then dug into the food. It was apparent that she hadn't really ate. The Doctor did catch her eating a apple or a couple crackers every once in a while; she never ate real food. Once she finished most of the tray, the Doctor moved it to one of the cluttered dressers and crawled back into the bed. Rose smiled at him as he opened his arms. She sighed as he wrapped them around her wast and curled into her; his thumbs just above her hips, rubbing gently in circles. 

He tucked his head next to hers, his hair tickling her cheek as her kissed her neck. It wasn't desire, it was just simple, sweet, kisses. He kept the trail up till her ear until his mouth was just hovering over them. Then, she heard words she never though she'd hear again.

"I love you."


	5. Chapter Five

Rose usually woke up alone. Which was okay, because she knew that the Doctor would get restless. Sometimes he would come back just before she woke up. Still in his pjs and hair ruffled in so many angles it looks like a ball of fuzz; but this morning she woke up before him. He was still nuzzled into her neck, arms still around her. Something was off, he was to tense to be sleeping. At least peacefully. She tried to close her eyes again, just allow him to hold her and maybe that'll calm him. Just as she began to fall back asleep, his arms tightened and she felt his chest heave from the dream. 

"Rose." He whispered.

He obviously thought she was asleep. She turned around so he could see her. His eyes glistened with tears and he just looked at her. It was heart breaking; all she could think of was wrap her arms around him and tell him 'she was okay.' Or 'I'm still here.' 

He rested his head on her shoulder, "I just don't wanna lose you."

"You aren't."

He shook his head slightly, "Rose, Time Lord dreams mean something. Not like humans and their emotions. But ours mean something is going to happen, something that relates to the dream. I think I'm gonna lose you."

At this point she was at the point of breaking down, but she held back her tears, "You're not gonna lose me."

She felt his body shake, she's never seen him like this; breaking down.

"Rose, you're human. I'm sorry, but I am going to lose you. I'll have to continue on without you. Live another life; be broken again."

"Isn't there something we can do?" Rose's voice cracked as she spoke.

He leaned back up to look at her. He gently wiped the tears from her cheeks and chuckled slightly.

"I'm glad to see you cry."

"Why?"

He shook his head, "Because you're starting to hold your emotions up, and it's only gonna hurt you."

"Emotions are stupid." She laughed slightly.

"Tell me about it." He laughed breathlessly.

Rose looked up at him, the golden specks in her eyes shining bright, "Doctor?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you know," She blushed slightly, "If you know- I could, uh. Getpregnantbecauseofyou."

The Doctor furrowed his eyebrows, "What?"

"Could I get pregnant with your child?"

"Why are you asking?"

Blood rushed to Rose's cheeks, "I asked a question first."

"I mean, I guess. There's a possibility, why?"

"I don't wanna leave you alone."

He smiled at her, "Oh my Rose."

"My Doctor."

He sighed and brushed of the hair out of her face, "I don't know what would happen."

"What'd you mean?"

"Like, the symptoms to the pregnancy would be, I could always research."

"Are you saying...." She didn't dare to finish the sentence. He didn't do domestics, why would he settle down now?

"I donno Rose, it's strange."

"How is it strange?"

"Because I this is new to me, all of it. I mean, I had a wife once, but it wasn't an affectionate relationship. It was more to be accepted than be happy." He looked down, "Rose, I've never felt like this before."

She pulled his chin back up and kissed him, "I know. It takes time."

"I have all of it."

She looked away and thought, I only have years of it.


	6. Chapter Six

"Ah, yes, welcome to Raken, Rose!" The Doctor called, throwing his arm over her shoulder.

She looked around wearily, "It's very..... cool?"

The Doctor looked down at her, "It's a planet entirely created off the cool color scale of the color wheel!"

Rose nodded, taking it all in. It never failed for her to become surprised at something so new. The grass took a greenish-blue hue, while the sky was almost TARDIS blue. The buildings varied from purple to dark green and even the people were colored. The Doctor smiled at Rose's wondering eyes and pulled her along the street.

"So the point of this planet is just to take on certain colors?" She questioned,

"Well, that and it's also a pleasure planet." 

Rose gaped at him, "You? At a pleasure planet? Are you sure you don't have a fever?"

"Oi! I can stop running sometimes. Also, I just thought we needed a break from all that's happened...."

She leaned up and kissed his cheek, "Thank you."

He blushed before tugging her along the streets. There were markets were full of new, intriguing, fruits and meats. As they walked along occasionally taking a sample trying to compare it to a Earth food. Tall buildings toward toward the center of the city, in the parks, violet colored children ran around, playing tag or throwing a ball.The Doctor smiled when one of them ran up to Rose and gave her a flower, claiming she was the brightest person he'd ever seen. She was all pink and yellow after all. They settled down on top of a hill, overlooking the markets and parks, just behind them the buildings. 

"This place can bring back memories, you know?"

Rose nodded, "I was just thinking of New Earth actually."

"That was our second kiss." He waggled his eyebrows.

"Hmm," She kissed him gently, "What about that?"

"I can tell you that what the fifth one today."

She giggled and watched as the sun set over the horizon, "I don't know when I'm ever going to get over this."

Danger bells rang in the Doctor's head, "Yeah."

"You alright? I don't think I've ever heard such a short response from you," Rose asked, her eyes furrowing in worry.

The Doctor took a shaky breath, "Yeah, I just have a bit of a headache."

"You're really pale." She went to push a piece of hair out of his face.

Then he appeared, before anyone could notice. A noise rang out in the silence, then the Doctor's yell.

"Rose!"


	7. Chapter 7

"Rose!" He yelled, she fell into his arms. Almost exactly like the dream, "No, I said it wouldn't happen. Rose, I told you."

"Shh, it's gonna be okay just, stay calm." Rose tried, she was always going to be the one to calm him.

"But, but, Rose." He rasped,

She put his hand on the wound, and tried shushing him again. His face paled at the feeling of blood on her stomach, his Adam's apple bobbed.

"Doctor, just," Rose winced when he put to much pressure, "Get me back to the TARDIS."

"If you move-"

"There's not going to be a difference."

He just nodded and lifted her, pain shooting through her body once again; she audibly hissed. He just ran, always running and this time it's to save the woman he loves. He tried to ignore her blood, which was now running over her stomach, and pressing into the back of her shirt. The TARDIS since his panic and managed to open the front door; she put the med-bay just past the consul room.

"Doctor, focus!" Rose snapped, he stared at her shirt. Which was now drenched in a deep red.

He went into doctor mode, snipping of the shirt and trying not to stare at the red on her pale stomach. Cleaning the wound and trying to find her something for the pain. Luckily, the bullet went straight through; but left a massive hole. Something that would take beyond his skill to heal, unless.....

"Rose, please." He said, his hands raising.

Rose shook her head, "No, Doctor. Just take me to New Earth. Please, no."

His face fell, "You won't make it!"

"We can try. Just bandage me and go. You've got too, please."

He hung his head as he wrapped her stomach and hipbones in thick cloth. He could feel it, she wasn't going to make it. He lifted her up again, this time setting her in the captain chair. As he ran around the consul, Rose spoke to him.

"Doctor, don't take the blame for this. Don't become the man I met you in. Remember me please, try too; just don't sulk. Find a new companion, take her to new places. Please, do it for me? My last request. I love you, and I said forever. Guess what? You got mine. You got mine, Doctor. I love you, I love you. please..."

When she stopped talking, he looked painfully across the room; finding her body limp and head hanging. Breaths becoming shorter. He landed the TARDIS quickly as possible and ran over to her, her hazel eyes with golden still open, still peaceful. He ran outside the TARDIS and yelled and it became a blur. She was taken from him and people tried to calm him down. He tried to have hope, but it was obvious. He would never see his pink and yellow girl again. Not in the way he wants to.


	8. Chapter 8

The Doctor stormed angrily out of the TARDIS, his eyes were dark and his footsteps were the loudest thing on the street. People naturally parted away, giving him glances on the more scared side. He glared at anyone who dared to cross his path, he wasn't just angry. There was a whole list for his emotions: furious, sad, scared, etc. But something that described him the most was lonely. He was left without his pink and yellow girl- who was actually a woman. Still young and fresh and hardly touched by the universe; but now she was six feet under the stars and he was lost without her smile. This time, he wasn't here for relaxing, but for revenge. A word he hated and never dared to utter, but something in the back of his mind pushed him, told him too. He marched right to the city's center. The building was a dark green and inside it held the world's authorities; without a second thought he barged into the building, almost yelling at the top of his lungs,

"WHO DID IT?"

He looked around wildly, "You've got me, c'mon."

A woman walked up to him, hands in front of her like he was a wild animal, "Sir, if you could plea-"

"NO! You killed her, she was all I had, and..." He trailed off looking behind him.

There he was, a gleeful smile plastered on his face. Standing smug and glinting through his eyes. It somehow made him seem wild, almost as wild as the Doctor. Who charged forward, arms out grasping out for him. Someone grabbed him around the waist. His eye wide, making the dark brown seem insane.

"YOU DID IT, YOU KILLED HER!' His yells echoed back, everyone paused as the man spoke.

He smiled and stepped forward, "Yes, she was awfully bright and who couldn't help but take away her rays? Nothing bothered me more than her, I always saw her coming. The brightness of her laughter, her smile, golden flakes in her eyes. She was too much. But you Doctor, were darker than anyone I've seen before. Except for that little bit of you, who lived off the girl. Making you happy, you were using her."

 

"I would never use Rose." The Doctor's voice was low and rough.

"That's what you think, but did you ever care for her? Try to see if something was bothering her? It didn't look like it. Still, she stuck around," He grinned wildly, "Until you came a decade to early. And I did it! I got all of the pride and glory for killing the girl."

"You never killed her, she's always around. Scattered through time and space; she left her mark. Not on only just the universe, but me. She showed me something new and I'm not going to be able to repay her for what she did. She may be somewhere where I'll never be able to go and I'm going to miss her. But that smile will be with me forever. And she would do anything to save anyone and I learned from that. Sometimes, you're going to have to be a coward and let time take it's corse. She could be standing here, right now; but she chose to die. Something you rarely see in a creature. So how about you learn that every once in a while, light is allowed in the dark. To make it a happier place."

Everyone stared at him and the alien raised his gun, the Doctor was ready for the hit; asking for it. Nothing would stop it, nothing could. No one veered in or told him to give mercy. He didn't want it. He was one of the reasons Rose Marion Tyler was dead. 

 

___________________

He stood in the TARDIS on shaking feet, pain filled his body and he just wanted it all gone. He just wanted to be free and start somewhere new. His head hung, he was so ready for change.

"Why am I not dead?" He stared at his hand.

Something as bright as regeneration shined on him. By the railing surronded by yellow light; Rose sat. She smiled brightly at him.

"It's gonna be okay."

He just stared, "Rose." 

That's all he could muster up, nothing else. Nothing asking about how or why. Just the name of his beloved.

"Just wait," She jumped down and walked towards him. "It's gonna be okay. I promise."

He just nodded as she reached up to cup his cheek, she smiled softly.

"I-I love you." He choked out, the perfect words to end a regeneration with, as long asthey were for Rose.

"I love you too."

She was blown away in non-existant wind as an energy forced the Doctor's limbs back.


	9. Chapter Nine

The Doctor stood in overgrown grass, looking up at the night sky,

"I got Amy to stay behind this time, she says hello. So does Rory."

He sat down, dark brown hair flopping over his face,

"Rose, I just, I don't know what to say. Or how to say it. Please, one more day with you. That's all I want please. Can I? One more day on New Earth or a day with your mum. Somewhere where your hand will fit into mine perfectly."

His voice became rough,

"I didn't deserve this, any of it. Why did I get it? Someone keeps giving me something, then taking it away when I need it most. I don't wanna do this anymore, Rose. I just wanna be with you. Where we can run and you'll be there for me."

He turned away,

"But I can't have that, because of this. The things I dare to love die and it's not a feeling that someone enjoys. I didn't want to let it go, none of it. I miss you, I miss the way the stars would twinkle in your eyes at night, and the way you were there to comfort me. Or how your blonde hair was a mess and your golden eyes were soft in the morning. I can't handle it anymore."

He looked back,

"I want to forget it Rose, but I promised you. Something keeps me here and it makes me come back. Something I don't want or need. Still, I'm sitting here and talking, it's my own personal form of therapy. Not something I want or need, it's a craving you can't control and it leads me back here."

He looked at the engraved stone,

"I just want one more chance, I just have one more wish: I want to hold you close. I want to have you in my arms and say 'I love you.' Because I didn't tell you enough, I want to see you laugh and see that smile and see your eyes shine. Somewhere where we can both be happy and free of our burdens. I want to stop talking to the stars or staring at your name to be reminded of your face."

A tear slipped down his cheek,

"I just wanna be home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last chapter of It Was Forever. I really have no idea how I came up with the idea I just really love it though. Anyways, thanks for reading!


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